Third time's a charm...

at Central Bureaucracy.

By now I should be freaking out. I arrived with just a three month tourist visa. My return flight is set for the end of this month. With a little bit of good fortune and patience we no longer need to worry about that. Last week we got my visa extended. For a year.

As I've written before, we've had a lot of trouble finding out just what conditions need to be met in order to stay longer. Or, at the very least, how long I would have to return to the States before being allowed to come back. I am sure this is written down somewhere official. But we've never been able to find out. Everyone we speak to, everything we read, all seem to tell us something different. Already during the end of August we were both getting a little nervous about the situation.

Most of the people in my classes were from the EU and they don't need to worry about their situation here as much as I do. Fortunately for me, there was at least one in the same boat as me. She comes from Japan and told me about another school that she was going to attend once the current session at the VHS ended. It is a private language school located near the Media Park. They were able to help her get her visa changed. We immediately went and checked out the place. We signed up that day.

To be honest, there wasn't much to complain about with the VHS. I was pretty happy with the classes I took there. We use the same books at the new school so the method is pretty much the same. The difference comes in the administration. As with most things state run, the VHS didn't seem to have much concern with me as a student. The private school, however, not only gave us the necessary paper work for applying for a longer visa, they also let us know about a few other benefits. They offer a really cheap student insurance plan that covers nearly everything. The other benefit was letting me know I am eligible for a student pass with the KVB (the public transportation system). All this and the price per session is just a few euros more than at the VHS.

Armed with all of this knowledge and paperwork, we made our way to Central Bureaucracy to apply for the student visa. Now, we had been told from a few people that you no longer need to apply for these things at the nearest Ausländerbehörde, or (roughly) Foreigner Authority. For us, that is at the Bezirksrathaus, or District Town Hall. Because my school friend had success we decided to go to the same location. The lady was less than friendly with us and then told us we did indeed need to go to our nearest Ausländerbehörde. We were disappointed not only because we expected better luck but also because we had driven into the center of the city, only to have to turn around and drive back out past where we lived.

We got to the local Ausländerbehörde and patiently waited our turn. This place seriously looks like something out of Terry Gilliam's "Brazil." I realize it is undergoing renovations but it sure helps reinforce your stereotype of Central Bureaucracy. Exposed pipes and wires hang from the ceiling, while fluorescent lights buzz and flicker off the concrete walls. I desperately wanted to take a photo for the blog but I didn't want to piss off the authorities who essentially held my fate in their hands.

When it was our turn, we walked in and tried to be as pleasant as possible. I showed all my documents. Unfortunately, we had decided against signing up for the new school's insurance offer because I am still covered under a shorter policy. When this one ends, we figured we would sign up for another one. That wasn't good enough for Central Bureaucracy. With no apologies we were told to return with proof of longer insurance. And a passport photo.

We called the school and told them our situation. The secretary said she'd arrange for all the insurance stuff so that all we had to do was get in there and sign the necessary paperwork. I'm realizing customer service like that is a rare thing in this country! We drove back to the city for a second time that morning. We ran into the school and got all the insurance taken care of. On our way back to the car we realized we had parked in front of a photography studio. We stopped in, got passport photos taken and then raced back to Central Bureaucracy before they closed.

This time we KNEW we had everything. We had my passport, passport photos, school registration, insurance receipt. Nope. Apparently the insurance papers we had were still not good enough. Although it contained all the information to prove that I was signed up (and paid!) for this insurance, she still wanted to see an actual insurance card. That would arrive in the mail with all the other paperwork from the insurance company. As we left the office I am pretty sure I saw a smile on the lady's face for the first time. All we could do was try to smile while gritting our teeth. It was a Friday and with a little luck we figured we'd have the insurance card by Monday or Tuesday.

Once we received that we returned to the office to find the lady in a much better mood. Finally we had everything she needed. She made copies of the insurance card, told us to pay €50 down the hall and then return. We paid the money, returned to her office and watched as she attached the visa to my passport. We walked out of there relieved. I think we ended up taking a three hour nap that afternoon.

So if you find you need to do the same thing, here's an easy check list of what you'll need to bring with:

• Passport
• Proof of insurance (for at least a year)
• Passport photos
• Proof of school registration
• €50
• Plenty of patience
  

Your luck may vary.

The rumors of my (blog's) death have been greatly exaggerated

... or so to paraphrase Mark Twain.

Sorry I've been gone for a bit. Enjoying summer as much as possible while still attending school everyday. I haven't run out of topics. I have a mess of ideas to put down here when I've got the time. In the meantime, here's a quick one I've been wanting to start up.

I just finished up my second session of school at the Volkshochschule (VHS) today. It is located in Sulz. It's a nice neighborhood in the southwest part of town. Nearby is the University of Köln. I think I read over 40,000 students attend. It gives the neighborhood a younger feel. During breaks at the VHS I usually walked around a few blocks in pursuit of fresh air and an occasional coffee. For weeks I've been wanting to take a few photos to post here but I never got around to it. Since today was my last regular day in Sulz, I decided I had little choice.

You'll see English words everywhere here. Nearly everyone speaks at least a little bit of English and I guess somehow using it in ads makes products seems cooler. Here's a few examples of ill-advised uses of the language, henceforth referred to as "Germlish." Your opinion may vary.

Arson Hairfactory. Someone please check this guy's insurance policy.

Sorry for the lo-quality shot here. You may have to click on the image for a larger photo in order to get the "joke." If you don't get it, you didn't miss anything. I pass this each day on the way to class.

No gross misuse of English here. But I think "nerd" in English = "nerd" in German.

VHS oder Beta

Today marks the end of my first week in the Volkshochschule (commonly referred to as VHS). I signed up for a one month intensive summer course. Before moving I took several months of private one-on-one German lessons. I didn't quite reach level A2 before leaving and was a little apprehensive about where I might be placed. I certainly didn't want to start over again, but was worried that being placed in the second level of an intensive course might go too fast for me. We were told to arrive at the school about a half hour prior to the start of the first class so that they could determine where to place me. I should have realized what I was in for when the "test" consisted of being asked in German "Where are you from?" I confidently answered correctly and they put me into level 2.

It is certainly a much different experience than my one-on-one lessons. To say it is frustrating is an understatement. We are moving incredibly slowly. Our book consists of four chapters. I thought it was safe to assume we'd get through one each week. So far we are on page six. That's about one third of the way through the first chapter. The class consists of fourteen other students from all different backgrounds; French, Russian, Korean, Turkish, Spanish, Mexican, Lebanese. With so many different backgrounds, it is no wonder we're moving so slowly. We've all gotten to this point with different teachers and different materials. I get frustrated when others get hung up on what seems really basic issues. But then a few minutes later we'll hit on something I've never come across and we all slow down for my sake. I'm sure I'm not the only one frustrated in that classroom.

Quite possibly the scariest part of the classroom experience is that I have to come to terms with my age. I could easily be the oldest student in the class. There might be a couple others in their 30s but I could be wrong. There is a brother and sister team in the class that I'm sure is half my age! But for the most part, it seems to be college age students spending their summer learning the language for school or work.

Regardless of the pace of the class, I walk out of there completely exhausted. I forgot what it is like to use my brain for four hours straight. I came home the other day and slept for two hours and still fell asleep by 11. Let's hope this isn't another sign of me showing my age.

Needless to say, I haven't gotten out and about as much as I would have liked to so far. But I think we're going to try to correct that this weekend. She has to work late tonight, but we're going to hit the local pub once she's home. Tomorrow night is the big night. All over the city and subway are ads for Kölner Lichter (enjoy the awkward translation!). It is a gigantic fireworks show synchronized to music. Apparently this event has gotten so big, they've moved it a little further north of the city center because of the huge crush of people it brings in. The weather however doesn't look too promising. I don't mind the cold but I hope there's no more rain.

What else is there to do around here? I've got a little widget running some headlines from The Local on the right side of this page. It contains German news written in English. They also post listings of local events and movies weekly. By no means do these look comprehensive, but it is a start. Here's one to file away if you live here or are planning on visiting. If anyone else has better local event listings in English, please let me know!

So, in the spirit of Kölner Lichter and VHS, enjoy this one before you head out for your own weekend debauchery:

Night On Fire - VHS or Beta